Wow, What the Fuck is Going on with That Profile Picture, Aunt Cheryl?
Go ahead, fucking tell me!
Shameful: This Guy is Making Dismissive Gestures While Names of Various Diseases Appear on Screen
Disgusting. This video is hard to watch, but ignoring these sickos won't make them go away. Get this creep going viral for the right...
Straight-Passing Lesbian Lucked Out By Managing To Exclusively Date Women With Guy Names
Smirking with satisfaction, lipstick lesbian Madeline Sweet is marveling at her incredible luck for managing to only date women with...
Woman Not Sure How Mad to Be at Not Receiving Her Nickel of Change
Standing frustrated outside of Chinese takeout joint Wing Hua, Carroll Gardens resident Nicky Sheaffer isn’t sure how angry she’s...
Blogger With 17 Followers on Wordpress Determined Not To Let Fame Change Her
Reflecting on the destructive impact fame has had on countless online personalities, local blogger Jenna Stevens has vowed not to let the...
Members of White Supremacist Group Now Prefer Term "Morally Divergent" to "Nazi"
Members of the white supremacist organization Aryan Nations have announced in a statement to the press that going forward, they would...
Jeffrey Epstein Can't Find Anyone to Sit With in Hell's Cafeteria
A year and a half into his eternal damnation, convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein is still struggling to fit in with his peers, none...
Old Yeller Refuses To Get Rabies Vaccine Before Doing His Own Research
Three days after fighting off a vicious wolf to save his master, local dog Old Yeller has declined to receive a rabies vaccine before...
Jesus Kind of Bummed That His Rebirthday Sucked Two Years in a Row
Swirling mashed potatoes dejectedly around His plate with a fork, Jesus Christ expressed His disappointment that for two years in a row,...
FDA Warns that Vaping Increases Risk of Being Mistaken for Failed Indie Musician by 45 Percent
Amid concerns about the yet unknown health risks of smokeless alternatives to traditional tobacco products, FDA officials have released...
Area Woman Shocked to Discover Essential Service Workers Are Actually People
Shaking her head in disbelief, area woman Caren Westerson expressed her total shock at learning that essential service workers are, in...
Afraid No More: 20 Reasons Why I'm Finally Coming Out As Conservative
Hi guys. I'm gonna keep this brief, because making this kind of announcement is scary enough as it is. But, I feel like I owe not just...
Eighty-Three Percent of Graduating Class Using "I Take The Road Less Traveled" As Yearbook Quote
Seniors at Seymour Regional High School are ready to make their marks on life, as 505 out of 609 students have chosen Robert Frost’s...
Weird Girl from Class of '09 Experiences Renaissance During High School Reunion
Feeling a sensation she describes as "a spiritual ascension to the Cool Table," Emma Schwartz is experiencing an inexplicable skyrocket...
Inspiring: This Woman Won't Address Her Cannabis Addiction, No Matter What Literally Everyone Says
There are some stories you hear that blow you away with #winspiration, and this is definitely one of them. In spite of protests from...
BREAKING: Coworker Talking to You Through Bathroom Stall While Shitting Like It's Totally Normal
A violent attack on your personal space is unfolding in your office’s restroom, as your tactless boor of a colleague is talking at you...
Critics Praise Kelsey Grammer's Command Performance As Decent Husband
In acting that defies possibility, 'Frasier' star Kelsey Grammer melts audiences' hearts in his latest role as a decent husband to his...
Nurses Appalled By Mom-to-Be’s Request to Have Her Uncle Dave in Delivery Room
Gagging at what they call "an ungodly concept," Labor and Delivery nurses at Maimonides Medical Center are horrified by one mom-to-be's...